Wake Up Kitty

I don't think I like Americans. If I think about them I think about a lot of noise, screaming, shouting, fights and I get stressed. I like to have my peace. I can't stand loud noises. I also can't stand all the cursing and scolding. I don't understand their behavior and I don't understand why they always need to pray or ask god for help. Because I don't like them I have an American pen pal. I hope he can tell me about the American way of living and change my opinion. I am not proud about my prejudice and I am willing to change. I have so many questions. How come most Americans are believers, praying but every 3rd word is "fuck you" and every 5th word is a curse. I can't count the times they say: your mother is a hooker or fuck your mother, etc. Not only American movies but also: Jerry Springer, Oprah Winfrey and Dr Phil are great examples of the behavior of the American nation. A behavior without any self esteem, shame or respect for others. I don...

I have a big pair of scales. There is a large pointer on it that should tell me exactly how much overweight I have each day. Since I want to be sure it's also electric. Which means the scales can tell me my weight in grams exactly! My scales has his own life. In the middle of the night it starts weighting something. But if I step on it I have to wait a long time till something shows up. To be sure, I step on it 4-6 times each morning. It seems to be necessary since I always weight less the more often I step on it. After that I save my weight of the day so I can check how much gram I ... now with the day before. As I ordered something on the internet I received an other scales for free. This one is even greater... well they say it is. No big pointer or large numbers on it (which I can't see if I stand on it without having my glasses on, so I have to kneel down each time to read what it says) but a small display on a wire. I can keep it in my hand when I step on the scales. This...

You can't be Mrs Jerky Kitty, my brother says. He is a Jerk! Also it's cold in Lapland, don't you know that? You can't stand the cold. And why does he wants you to travel and move over there and isn't he willing to give up anything? What do you know about him at all. He is only asking you questions but if you ask him something he is never answering. Look at his picture! My brother is pointing at Jerky's picture. Oh come on, I know you have bad eyes but you can't be that blind. He leaves me alone with a pic of an ugly, middle aged guy in a pink shirt, married 3 times before. A very selfish guy, who claims I am the love of his life, but is not willing to leave the place where he already is living for a hundred years, surrounded by all his ex wives and kids. They youngest is a baby and I have no intentions to be a stepmother. But my life would be like a fairy tale. The guy is still not broke, travels a lot with his racing horses, he has a big house and a great ...

My brother is not only guarding me but also watching me. According to him I live in the same age as Oliver Twist although I am more interesting. He finds me sweet but wishes I wouldn't be so kind (to others) and believe every story told to me. To his opinion I am very sensitive for soap stories! As soon as I come home telling him what happened to someone his answer is: I don't believe any word of it! It's a lie! According to my brother it's in the human nature to lie and I better should learn to lie very fast too! Otherwise I will be the victim of every idiot, scammer and weirdo in this world. Nobody likes to hear the truth! he answers, when I ask him why parents teach children to be honest but tell never-ending-lies themselves. You have to learn to lie Kitty, if not you will be stoned to death sooner or later! That is fine with me. I have a great brother who is watching me, guarding me and checking out my friends! He tells me how to do it myself, so I wo...

Everybody has a name. My name is Kitty. Jerky gave it to me. I wished him good night and said his name wrong... twice. Are you Kitty, he asked me? My brother found it very funny. So since that moment I am Kitty! Jerky was married 3 times before and I should be the lucky Mrs Jerky the 4th! Are you ready to travel a lot, he asked. Sure, I love traveling! Actually I planned to leave with my brother to the beaches of Australia... after we bought (a piece) of Switzerland and our own lilac Milka cows! My life is perfect, the only thing missing in it is my own private story teller. I love stories.